After last night I'm feeling much more content with myself. I spoke to dark haired guy about my issues with him and he was quite receptive and understanding surprisingly and then strung out a few lines i have heard a few times before but have never believed...that our f'ship is unique and he respects me...well that's the gist of it. Altho it's a very lovely thing to say, whether he actually means it is another thing. So that page has been turned, it's been read, examned, discussed and now i'm free to move on.

I also spoke to "Tom" and he is just lovely, it's always so relaxed and chilled when him and i talk. No stress and talk about shit, he's a great guy and a wonderful friend...He always puts me at ease and because he's so cynical..and i am too (altho i dont allow him to see it) he just puts things into perspective for me :)

"Harry" and i also spoke yesterday for about an hour give or take. He's exactly what im looking for in a man...well...from what i knowso far, but i do highly doubt anyone could fill what im looking for :) We flirt a bit and poked fun at each other and its like he's not afraid to open up to his emoitions and what he wants and tht he actually thinks of me, and isnt afrid to tell me...or maybe it's because i have such a way with words they can't resist? lol. If you're reading this, fine, call me vein or w/e but if you knew me you'd see i wasn't...i know i get told it all the time from guys, haha. Anyway, "Harry" and  I spoke about what it will be like when him and i are together..yes we are planning to hook up and see what happens, he's just allowing me to get my priorities right and allow me to look out for myself for once...not many guys have ever done this for me..it's such a wonderful thing, so gallant.

So after such a busy day of talking to the 3 main guys in my life (excluding bro and dad) I went to bed with this conclusion;
You don't need dickheads in your life. You are fine being single, you're better off single than you were with a boyfriend. You have friends that will always be there for you. You're on the final journey of self improvement. This is your time. In 6 months, you can look back and say..Look, you did this yourself, and you can breathe in the success. There is knight in shining armour. He's waiting for you and you know it.

And the great thing about all this? I knew all along about the above lines...I guess i was just slapped by the "epiphotree"